You know, my father still drives his 30 years old car and I'm driving a 21st century car with power window. See the difference? When I mentioned my dad drives a 30 years old car, definitely you can't find it in the car market now. Well, there are a few things that my father used to teach me and my sister about what makes you happy. We didn't get it at first. In my mind, money was everything. Money can buy you things and more money means more happiness. As I grew up, I went through different phases of life. The ups and downs in your 19s, 20s and coming soon 30s. There were times when I struggled to figure out what I want in life. And yes, I'm still considering that part. I take life one step at a time Over thinking and trying to predict what's going to happen in the next 10 years of your life will make you live in worries every single day. Without you realizing it, you're actually wasting your time thinking about the unknown.
As you grow older, you'll realize that money is not everything. There are things money can't but like experience, being in love, being hurt, having a best friend that stays with you through everything. Parents should teach their kids that living moderately is good. Not to spoil them with the latest gadgets like the Ipad and hand phones. The material things. Things that kids nowadays being pampered to.
Maxing out isn't healthy. Many young women want to go to a good university, get a good job, find a good relationship, and be good mothers. When leaning in turns into burning out, though, women experience serious health, relationship, and emotional consequences that aren't easily fixed. Rather than focusing on "having it all," let's ask young women what they want and help them define success on their own terms.
Buy more experiences and less stuff. When I was a teenager, I wanted to have the same clothes as my friend's sister - she had all of the name brand stuff and I thought she was so cool. When I graduated from law school and started practicing, it was nice to be able to afford a new handbag here and there. Having stuff isn't bad, but materialism is. Not only does materialism not bring happiness, it's a strong predictor of unhappiness. One study examined the attitudes of 12,000 18-year olds, then measured their life satisfaction at age 37. Those who had expressed materialistic aspirations as young adults were less satisfied with their lives two decades later.
Focus on self-efficacy rather than self-esteem. Self-esteem is the evaluation of your own self worth, while self-efficacy is your ability to feel like you can produce results in your own life.
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Take (good) risks. When you are asked to give a presentation, try out for a team, or do something new, what do you do? Do you shy away or jump in? Would it surprise you to know that when it comes to evaluating ability, men tend to overestimate theirs and women tend to underestimate theirs.
Don't get stuck in your own faulty thinking. When I speak to students and professionals about my own experiences with burnout, I describe myself as a "people pleasing, perfectionist, achieve-aholic." It's my way of illustrating how the faulty assumptions we make and our deep patterns of thinking undercut happiness and resilience and create a lot of stress in our lives. If you catch yourself thinking any of the following, pay attention to what is driving your belief system, and know that the young women and girls in your life are paying attention to how you manage these beliefs:
* What will people think of me?
* I have to be perfect.
* I have to achieve more.
* I can handle it all on my own.
* I can't take time for myself.
Perfection really does not exist. It took me years to realise how destructive the pursuit of perfection really is. Thinking you have to do things perfectly and/or be perfect is like carrying around a heavy weight on your back, and it absolutely crushes creativity.
Vulnerability is good. The less I focused on perfection and the more I focused on being vulnerable, the more opportunities unfolded for me. Vulnerability is what helped me stop my law practice, go back to school, and start a new business working with people and on projects I could never have imagined. Don't get me wrong,
Avoid happiness traps. Many women (myself included) have bought into one or more of these happiness myths at some point in their lives - I call them the "I'll be happy when's:"
* I'll be happy when I get married or find that great relationship
* I'll be happy when I make more money
* I'll be happy when I have children
* I'll be happy when I lose weight
* I'll be happy when I change jobs/get a new job/get promoted
* I'll be happy when I make more money
* I'll be happy when I have children
* I'll be happy when I lose weight
* I'll be happy when I change jobs/get a new job/get promoted
Our culture spins a very seductive story for young women, making it seem as though they're not worthy or can't be happy unless and until they've achieved these milestones.
Read more @ 8 messages to teach young women about happiness
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